Mounjaro and Me
I am a (less) huge fan..despite there being little long term info. My story.
On Tuesdays I write a new post that tries to stick to one topic and have a thesis and a conclusion. It totally happens every Tuesday.
For 15 years I have been morbidly obese. Friends try to argue with me when I say that. But I know the chart and I know my spot on it and it is morbidly obese. What my friends mean (I think) is that they still find me appealing. Morbidly obese sounds like someone on a TLC.
Over this time like most fat people (and even people who just think they are fat) I have dropped 30 pounds on the Keto diet (and then gained 40) I have consulted with nutritionists, I have done acupuncture, I have signed up for meal deliveries, I have read books like “My Body is Not an Apology” and “Intuitive eating.” I have meditated. Still I am morbidly obese.
The amount of mental energy I spend thinking about food, what to eat, when, how much, where it is in the house, the moral impact of eating, how I am a complete piece of shit because I am fat, is unfathomable to most people. In the pie chart of my brain 70% of my mind is taken up with thoughts about food, diet (or un-diets), or judging myself for those thoughts. I have never struggled with booze but I imagine it is something like an alcoholic who has stopped drinking. When I try to explain it to Steve he nods and pats my shoulder and says things like “I love you” and “you look great to me.” But it is not (mostly) about my looks. It is about the prison I live in every day.
Mounjaro has unlocked the door.
I have tried ozempic and wegovy, but as you have probably read they are often out of stock for weeks and months on end. Thin people are taking them to curb their appetites. It even made the Oscars. They were originally developed as drugs to treat diabetes and the lack of consistent access is a frightening thing for diabetics. I went off of them for a while, feeling as though I shouldn’t take the stock from people who “really” need them but at my last check up my MD told me I should be one of the people that gets the shots. So I gave up my guilt and started the newest entry to the party. Mounjaro. Which I just learned to spell.
It is life changing. Yes I have lost weight. Thirty pounds so far. I can stand up from the low loveseat without psyching myself up to do it, I can run up the stairs, I can do child’s pose without the wide-legged pregnancy accommodation. I have cut the dose on my blood pressure medicine. My aches come from post-workout soreness instead of feet that want to give out over weight that is too much for them to bear. This is all good.
It is the brain stuff that is the miracle. I have room to think about other things. I can listen to friends at dinner with 95% of me instead of 30%. I finally feel like I am driving the car of my life. And I never liked to drive before.
How does it work? Science. How do I experience it? Well I give myself the shot on Tuesdays then Wednesday I feel sick. Beginning Thursday I am a regular person. I eat when I want what I want and can stop without a thousand word internal pep talk. My stomach and brain feel “normal” I wonder if this is what it is like for most of you. Food is a choice. Mounjaro is not simply an appetite suppressant. It also works on the center of your brain that controls cravings. It seems to also improve the mood of people who are depressed. All of this is anecdotal with a study size of one but it seems to work on my mania as well. I was on Etsy looking for a particular item and I found it and then…closed the app. I didn’t know that was an option, but it is! I can go on instagram without buying hair loss serums and mouth guards, and hand creams, and wrist band things that control your temperature and self heating mugs. Now I look at the kittens and feel OK. IG must wonder what the fuck is going on.
Mounjaro, although neither created nor studied for this, seems to keep people from wanting alcohol. I hope there are people out there figuring out which mechanism works on the craving and trying to decouple it from the slowing of digestion because this drug would be amazing to try with people who are alcoholics if it didn’t cause weight loss.
The other freedom I feel? I no longer judge myself for being fat. If one shot in one day can work on some mysterious part of my brain and soothe all of this addiction it is evidence that my eating was not a moral failing. It is a biochemical imbalance. I have always told myself that but never believed it.
The downsides? I will probably never be able to get off of it without gaining back weight and going back to jail. It’s side effects have only been studied for a handful of years, and it is not always available. Today is Tuesday and I am supposed to give myself my shot, but my fridge is full of food and the shot is not carefully stored in the cheese drawer because it is used up.
The pharmacy has a dose twice as high as mine and when I asked my MD if my body could handle the huge jump he gave an electronic shrug and said “it will be rough.”
Headed to the pharmacy now because I choose rough.
What is your relationship like with food?
I am also imprisoned by food. I spend at least 75% of my brain power thinking about food, what I can eat, when I can eat, where it is, etc., It's exhausting.
As you know, I am thin but have GERD. This means, that like you, I am constantly thinking about food. Can I eat this food? Can I remember to eat slowly even though I'm hungry? Will a small amount of one of the many forbidden foods trigger pain, coughing, swallowing problems? When do my symptoms reach the point that I should switch from my every-day meds to my heavy-duty meds? So just like you, Anna, I think about food all the time. I go to sleep 3-4 hours after my early bird dinner, while thinking about the next day's breakfast. Eat... repeat... No Rx can fix this.