I need Wordle to break up with me because I am not going to be the one to leave.

Freedom seems like it is more than five letters away

I know you thought all of the Wordle blog posts had already been written. But no. Just like me you can’t quite get out of its grasp.

(For those of you who don’t know Wordle you can substitute any other daily ritual that brings you neither joy nor utility. Don’t have one of those? Please tell me your secret.)

There are a few things in this world that I am very good at, most of them can happen while seated on a couch, some require a table. I can mentally manipulate three dimensional objects in space. I have used this skill to earn 100% on certain sections of organic chemistry tests, to imagine what houses will look like without the wall separating the kitchen from the dining room, and to figure out how to arrange sculptures on huge walls of shelves before actually having to lift and move them. It is niche application but it has probably saved me dozens of minute over the past three decades. Amazing I know. I am also good at editing other people’s essays. But not proofreading. And people (college kids mostly) seem to think proofreading and editing are skills that track together. Thos of you that read this blog know better. I read quickly. Now that I am older though reading quickly is coupled with forgetting what I have read. The second best feature of the Libby app (the first being the free-ness of the media) is that I can check wether or not I have read a book before.(Yes that second typo was to continue to prove my above point, no all following typos will not be purposeful.) Completing puzzles is my greatest skill. My aptitude runs the full range from jigsaw to crossword.

As an aside I would like to tell you that last night I “finished” a 1,000 piece puzzle and there was one single puzzle piece on the floor (an EDGE piece) and I picked it up, tossed it in the box and crumpled the “finished” puzzle up and boxed it WITHOUT INSERTING THE LAST PIECE. I will accept your praise/admonishments in the comment section.

So when wordle showed up I was wicked excited. I wasn’t in the very very first wave but I was certainly completing the puzzle daily well before the NYTimes acquired it. For a while I did it like the regulars, trying to guess the word in as few tries as possible. I usually got it in 3 tries, sometimes 4, rarely 5 and only twice 2. That was me telling you that I never failed to guess the word without telling you. Then I got bored. I didn’t quit though. I am a great quitter (something that can also be accomplished from the couch) but I couldn’t quit Wordle. Back in the days when people talked about Wordle we used to compare starting words. There is even, of course, one starting word that is statistically better than the others. I never had a starting word. I try to start with a word that is somehow related to my day. Yesterday I started with Board because I can see the snowboarders out the window from the couch of the Breckinridge condo in which I sit. So I have a little fun picking the first word. Then it is just a grind. I choose a new word each time that repeats zero letters from the word above even if I know they are correct. This is not a strategy that Wordle people espouse but it gives me a little extra challenge. One I grit my teeth through each day. Drudery. Meds, Tooth Brushing, Wordle. Every morning.

Then one magical day my stats disappeared and I realized I was only continuing Wordle because of an electronic counter that no one on the planet but me could see. I know that gamification (even of games which shouldn’t require it) is a powerful motivator. (Or jailer) but I have successfully ignored streak counters on habit trackers, meditation apps, face yoga and many more things. I can quit them all. I am more powerful than the counter.

I was free from Wordle. Each day I could choose for myself from teh NYTimes game lists. Sudoku. Sure. Stop before genius level at Spelling Bee, you betcha, not do Wordle AT ALL. A possibility. Even a strong one. Then my son who was snuggled next to me on the couch to help with the daily crossword took the phone out of my hands to play Wordle. On his own. And it took him SIX attempts to get the word. So then I had stats again. That bar graph showed one SINGLE line representing 100% of my games played stretched across the entire bottom of the chart. SIX. (An excellent musical)

So now I am stuck again, each day, trying to fill that chart with numbers like two and three and even four to somehow balance out the six. Maybe writing this post will help me free myself. What’s that saying “A problem shared is a problem halved?” So maybe L’s six could become a three and then my graph would be fine and I could gain back minutes of each day. Minutes that I could use to meditate or write in my gratitude journal, or use a water pick. Or, realistically, to think of a starting word and talk myself out of using it. Which clearly would be more fun than playing Wordle at all.

Do you have a wordle starting word? Do you have a “fun activity” that has soured? Can you help me quit Wordle?