A tenth grader was shot and killed at my son's highschool. Maybe I will be funny tomorrow.

Every Monday I click on New Post and write whatever shows up. I am not surprised that this is what emerged.

You know how America needs better gun control? And mental health care? And a health care system decoupled from Capitalism or something? There is knowing and then there is knowing.

A tenth grader got shot and killed in front of my son’s school. By 16 and 17 year olds in a stolen Kia. The boy held on in the hospital for a while and then last week his family said goodbye. L knew him a bit and was very close to kids that knew the victim very well. They marched to the capital. They brought flowers to the school. Then they went to IHOP. We are in Colorado after all, a single death at school barely makes the news.

Because I can’t get into the weeds of L’s reactions and my responses to him there is a lot I won’t say here.

I think about the family, the bedside, the industrial lights and the beeps. I think about our own version of life and death and feel gratitude and then guilt over it. Our story is better than theirs.

Then I imagine the first time they stepped into their kitchen and opened the door to the carton of milk, now sour, that their son had touched. I picture them with an extra plate because their muscles haven’t learned that there is one less child at the table. What will they feel when the first person sits in his chair? I think about the mail that has folded and jammed their mail slot. Oversized post cards from colleges who they never knew existed asking for their son who only exists in their memories to consider spending time in Nebraska. Probably Northern Nebraska. Then later, the slot will fill with bills. Unimaginable bills from the people who couldn’t save their son.

How our health care system thinks there is a quantifiable price for their son’s death. And makes them pay it.

There is a go fund me of course. L gave all of his money. So many people added zeros to try to do the tiny sliver more than the nothing that they could. And if they are like me to make a guilt-filled bargain that their own family would stay safe.

Photo by Rux Centea on Unsplash

What about those other kids? The shooters. Children too who stole a car and got a gun or more than one and shot a kid ten times before driving through the city fast enough so the car that was not theirs flipped off the road. Who could have caught them before they tumbled?

It could be any kid. Any school.

And it will.

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Tomorrow I will try to post something fun. In the meantime if you have any kitten memes I will take them in the comments.